Meet SmartyCat

Wise-Cracking Therapist

'Cuz our therapy doesn't have to be so serious.

Whoever said those stuffy therapist-types had a monopoly on how to help people? Not me. Or you, either, if you're smart like me!

That said, you better have thick skin if you want help from this callous cat!

I call 'em as I see 'em.

I'm SmartyCat. My specialty? Pointing out the obvious.

I was a bartender in one of my previous nine lives.

How do you think I learned how to listen to people's problems?

Let's 'pop a top' and do some real talking.

We'll get to the bottom of what's troubling you.

Or at least to the bottom of those bottles!

Purr-sonality Details

Personal Info

Height: 10 inches
Lives Left? None - on my last one!
Home State: Florida


Favorite Beverage: Beer
Favorite Food: Catnip Pizza
Favorite Subject in School: Ditching Gym Class
Favorite Song or Musician: Fight for Your Right to Party
Favorite Hangout: Dive Bar


  • Race Car Driving
  • Beer Pong
  • Stand Up Comedy

Things I Say

  • "You've got a lot to say. Do you come with duct tape?"
  • "Despite the look on my face, you’re still talking."
  • "You have a smile that can light up the whole psych ward."
  • "I didn’t mean to push all your buttons - I was just looking for mute."
  • "How's that working out for you?"
  • ... and over 50 more!

Ready for a Few Wisecracks?

Just "press for help" and SmartyCat will have you laughing in no time!